What's your game?

A few months ago in working with a client on the edge of giving up her consultancy, she said to me, "But I don't see you making a million dollars. How do I know I'll be successful?"

I laughed - she thought my game was "make a million dollars" because that's what all the marketing books and "How to's" assume: that you're in it solely or mostly for the money.

My game is "Spend time with my son." As a result, my work is structured so that I can often work at home, work remotely, work part-time and be flexible while still making enough money to sustain us. My son is my priority - he is what I value. So I work to make sure I can be with him as often as possible.

Once she really got that, her attitude changed - she actually went into a bit of shock. She had been assuming that "success" meant huge sums of cash. In that moment she realized that she could define her success conditions any way that suited her. Within 2 weeks her income doubled and her hours going way down and she decided to take a two week vacation to see her family - which is what she values.

Exercise:
How do you define success?
What assumptions are you making that no longer suit you?
If you knew you could not fail, how would you define success?

Business Practices and Emotional Clarity

This weekend I went to Cafe Gratitude's Sacred Commerce workshop.

It was both informative and a lot of fun.

They use components of NVC (non-violent communication) to help people really hear and be heard - critical to make sure your work with clients and employees is clear, effective and efficient.

This workshop is taught by Matthew and Terces Engelhart, the founders of Cafe Gratitude. They have clearly studied a lot of personal growth work from NVC to meditation and gratitude practices. The workshop itself is about how to clear out what's keeping you from being present so that you can be at work and not be carrying emotional baggage into that or any space. In fact they take it beyond being present into being grateful. It's a great idea and it really works.

Cafe Gratitude spend about $230,000 a year on this process. They employ more than 200 people and every morning they do this process with each employee from District Managers on down to dishwashers. Each person sits with someone and goes through the process of getting present and shifting into gratitude. Every day.

And they are profitable. That's the key here. This is a business who consistently turns a profit with sustainable business practices. They wrote a book about this process and other aspects of how they run their business called "Sacred Commerce" which you can also find on their website.

Not only that, but they have started a practice of making their work more widely available by using a model of pay it forward. You go to the workshop and get value from it and decide what it's worth and then pay for the next person to be able to get that same seat next month. I paid for my seat so that you can go. Enjoy!

To me Cafe Gratitude is a clear and exciting example of how business can work in alignment with their values and do amazing things in the world.

Financial Pressure? What to do Right Now

One of the lessons that I'm learning is that time and space create a lot more results than pressure.

Have you ever been in a pinch and tried to come up with new ideas about a project? It doesn't matter if it's for work or at home. If you're really worried about it, what happens? 

Often the ideas struggle out of my brain. I'm worried and have a hard time focussing. I feel urgency and want results now.  I find that if I'm under enough pressure, I look back after making the decision and realize there are about 14 things I hadn't thought of that didn't make it into a project idea or into that proposal or off to that client.

On the other hand when I take time and open up space and spend some time relaxing,  ideas just come to me - out of the blue. Brilliant ideas for projects, services and products - so many that I can't follow up on all of them.

Financial pressure is a lot like that.  There are plenty of places that talk about money as a river or stream or flowing water and that use the metaphor of a faucet. My experience is that worry is akin to turning the faucet down or even off.

But why?  I've heard it talked about in terms of energy and there is something there. But in terms of psychology, what we see is that people get and do what they focus on - they find proof for their stories.  That's why advertising works. You see an ad for toothpaste over and over and pretty soon you're standing in your bathroom wondering how this this toothpaste you've never tried before got into your house.

Things that we imagine often come to pass - positive, negative or otherwise: because our brains are looking for them. Our brains are trained to find patterns and so the patterns you put into them is what you eventually find. It's why we seem to have similar relationships over and over - and that's part of why affirmations work. We tell our brains to look for certain ideas and hooks and it does. So I talked about affirmations and and how to write them, now is great time to review them if you haven't in a while.

In an ideal world you would have a Financial Map of  Intentions - a review of what you've been spending and clear projections about what you intend to spend moving forward, month by month. That way you can review your monthly spending and make clear decisions in advance of financial crunches. 

But that's not always possible and things change - so no sense in making yourself feel worse than you already do. In fact now is a great time to be grateful for your financial prowess - you see what's going on, you've come to look for support and now you're going to change it! Way to go!

So what to do about financial pressure right now?

If you're feeling pressured about money, the first thing to do is to take a deep breath. (And notice when the last time was that you did that.) Just take a moment to relax and come back into your body. Sometimes it takes a few breaths or more to come back - a walk outside in the fresh air, a hug, looking at something beautiful, a nice long, hot bath. But take that time - it's well worth it and really supports making sound decisions.

Second do a real assessment: are you in danger? What are the real dangers in this situation?  Often we worry about financial pressures that might happen - in days, weeks and months from now. If those things aren't here, take another breath and notice that more than likely you really are safe right now.

Then create a plan. Not just for the crisis or thing that has come up that you're worried about, but look at the bigger picture. Decide what really wants to be done here - is this an obligation that you want to continue with? Is this mortgage something you can handle? What is coming up over the next few weeks that can effect this piece of your financial reality? And how can you effect positive change from right here. 

Remember in creating change you want it to be in alignment with your values. So if you value ease, think about what you can do to bring more ease into this situation.  How do you want to feel about this obligation and what can you do to bring more of that emotion into this situation?

Keep breathing and move gently focusing on staying home in your body and making positive changes that support the overall effort of your life. It might take time, but putting into place a plan for you financial success is well worth the effort.

Think and Grow Rich, Really?

When I was a teenager I had a job doing telemarketing. I hated it. Calling people to "book appointments" was loathsome.  I wanted to be doing anything else.  So sometimes I would call in sick when all I wanted was to be doing something else, like hanging out with friends or finishing that homework project (yeah I was a bit of a goody-goody in high school).

But I'm not any good at lying. So in order to call in sick, I'd have to invoke being sick. Have a cough, exhaustion, etc. And in the half an hour to an hour it took me to work up the courage to call and tell that lie I would start to feel really sick. And then I really needed that rest I was asking for. A very mixed blessing in my 15 year old head.

That is the power of the mind combined with taking action.

Saying it can make it so (you believe it), acting on that information will make it so (you create it).  As an example of how this works think of something you want that you know you're going to get. Like dinner - whether it's groceries, dining in a restaurant or fast food. Remember the last time you decided what to eat for dinner. How did you manifest that. You decide and know that you're going to get it. But you don't just know you're going to get it, you act on that information. If you didn't, likely you'd be very hungry quite often.

In reading "Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill he says decide what you want in detail and name what you're willing to do to get it. Then he instructs his reader to say that plan every day, morning and evening and act based on that plan.

That's the essence of working in alignment with your values. 

Values, beliefs, truths, affirmations are all the same thing with different phrasing (and possibly different copyrights) but getting to the same basic idea and intention.

"Affirmations" affirm your path, ideas and being.  If you really want to take that business to the next level that you know will require more than one, one-time action, it requires focus, drive and follow through. It takes being impeccable with your word and always doing your best. 

It will take other things as well, depending on who you are, what your business idea or life path you desire and where you are now.  Do you know what those things are? Do you know what qualities you need to invoke for your success?

That single-minded devotion to your dream takes tools to make it happen. Reminding yourself everyday of your dreams and supports you in making that happen - otherwise known as manifesting.  In fact it's one of the keys in many personal growth systems. Don Miguel Ruiz in his book, "The Four Agreements Companion Book" says to make your own Book of Law which is about writing down what you believe about yourself and the world in order to create it. "Creating Money: Attracting Abundance" by Duane Packer and Sanaya Roman has affirmations throughout the book as a core practice of creating change.  Doreen Virtue, PhD. includes affirmations in everything of hers that I've come across.  And Suze Orman, "Financial Guidebook: Put the 9 Steps to Work" calls this same idea "creating new truths" and it's one of the first steps in her process. 

Whether you call them beliefs, affirmations or truths, we're all getting at the same thing: affirming a positive present and acting on it.

In the first year of my business I doubled my income. I didn'tknow it, but I was using affirmations and integrity work. I kept saying to myself, "I'm making more money doing bookkeeping." And so I sought that out. Then it became true and set up a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I went from making $1200 a month to $4000 a month in a year, freelancing, even when other people told me I was nuts. I began to expand into my skills and knowledge as a coach and counselor. They told me to go out and get a real job. But I am clear that I want to be doing something meaningful with my life: inspiring financial liberation. So I chose it, I affirmed it and I acted on it.

So why?  The truth that I can find is that your mind manifests what you believe.  The same is true of negative patterns. Have you ever spent the afternoon thinking about how fat you feel or how difficult things are? Have you found that things feel worse when you do that? It's the same idea. What you focus on you bring into being.

The deeper truth is that when you're planting your own seeds in your unconscious or conscious mind, it leaves less space for other, negative thoughts to get in there and have a field day of self destruction, defeat, or questioning self worth.  Being active has the added bonus that it creates change much faster than passively receiving negative feedback. You've created your own willingness to have the change that you are intending. You are practicing having what you want.